Listen.
Did you hear it?
It's the sound of the crunch. The Try My Nuts Butt Munch crunch, thank you very much. The unmistakable sound of peanuts rolling around in the gift tin. If you shake your Butt Munch, isn't that kind of like shaking your booty?
And oh, the aroma of bbq. It gets you every time.
Just the thought of bbq seasoning brings us to "snackiacks." The definition of a "snackiak" is brainiac snackers—those who know their Butt Munch and are not afraid to use it.
"Snackiacks" are those with high snacking intelligence. How do we know? Because they don't just order a tin. They order two - one for their recipient and one for themselves.
It goes something like this; they watch for the mail, pounce on the postal carrier, smuggle it into the house, try not to smile because smiling draws attention, and lie to their family about what's in the package. "Oh, this? It's from the razor of the month club" or "I needed more yarn." Sure you did.
We've got bad news for you. You are not that good at hiding. And when that happens, you've got a choice. Place the container on the table or grab the tin, clutch it to your chest, and run.
In case you wondered, this is an excellent time to set boundaries.
"We want to be alone" does not mean "Have some?"
But let’s be polite about this.
Everyone knows that friends don't let friends snack alone. Peanut hoarders are wicked.
You can tell everyone how yummy the Butt Munch is, but it's one of those things you have to experience for yourself. It's the halt that pulls you back from the edge. The 3 pm pick-me-up you stash in your drawer at work and reach for when your energy crawls across the desert seeking sustenance.
And since you've got coworkers who could use some sanity, Butt Munch makes you everybody's hero.
But what if you aren't altogether nuts? What if all your dreams are sweet dreams, dripping with goo, or powdered sugar, or white chocolate? Better yet, sweet and salty? Then you've knocked on the right door.
Not to be nosy, but did you take the Trash out? We're talking about the White Trash. Did you take it out of the package yet - the one your new favorite person sent to you?
You'll want to rip into this one. Sweet, crunchy nirvana, the chocolate of the promised land. Pretzels, pecans, cereals, crispy mouth-popping genius taste in one tantalizing mix. Not to be confused with casual snacking, this one is worthy of praise and worship. We're talking sin in a tin.
The point here is that you can send fruit all you want, but there's nothing like receiving a bunch of nuts.
Here's what's so incredible about our gift tins.
They are Unique and Delicious
The flavor and freshness of our peanuts are unrivaled. We're sorry, but not that sorry, but they are addictive. You might not need a 12-step program to deal with our nuts, but you might consider surgically removing yourself from the tin.
Repeat after us: I will not eat all the nuts (well, not in one sitting).
I will share. Maybe.
I will pay it forward and send a tin to a friend, loved one, or coworker without sampling first.
I will stash a tin for myself for snacking emergencies.
You Can Afford to Be Choosy
There is a wide selection of labels to choose from when sending that perfect message with your gift. "Thank you," "Enjoy!", "Seasonings Greetings," and of course, our famous "Try My Nuts" sticker. Think of it as putting a little bit of yourself in the box.
Butt calling. That is a thing, you know. Haven't you accidentally phoned someone only to find a voice coming from your back pocket? "I must have butt called you," the caller says to the other person. Oh well, butt calling or not, your recipient will call, and this time it will be deliberate because they will be thanking you for the gift.
Amazing Grazing
What's your go-to graze? Apples with cheese? Chips, cookies, popcorn? Move over, tortilla chips; out of the way, hummus; take a break, guacamole; butt out, boring snoring peanuts. The holy grail of goobers is here to save you from your flatline. Do we dare say Butt Munch to the rescue? White Trash this way?
There are endless ways to love the tin you're in. Here are a few ideas:
Serve with fruit.
Chop and serve over ice cream
Chop and sprinkle on s'mores.
Add to salads.
Add to your hand and toss into your mouth.
Disclaimer: We take no responsibility for the eat-a-thon.
But wait, don't keep it to yourself. Chances are you've got someone to thank. Someone with a birthday coming up. Someone on your Christmas list. Fresh out of ideas? Jump for joy because this is it.
Ah, you say you've already got your gift, the one you always send. But honey, have you tried my nuts?
You'll be glad we asked. There's something for everyone; just give us a call. We'll have your tongue slapping your cheeks in no time. And dare we add, you'll never get your Butt in a nut rut again.