It’s no secret that we enjoy a little snark with our snacks. Nuts come with all sorts of tongue-in-cheek humor opportunities, and life’s too short to pretend that you don’t like puns.
Well, this year has taken everyone’s sarcasm up a notch, because when the going gets tough, the tough use dark humor as a questionable coping mechanism.
Anyway, if you’re feeling a little extra snarky and/or sarcastic, then these snacks are for you. Enjoy.
1. Here, Have A Stack Of Dee’s Nuts
Hey, you want some of Dee’s Nuts? They make great snacks when you want to break up the monotony of quarantine. If you’re tired of your usual chips and pretzels, then Dee’s Nuts are here to help you make the most of things. Have you ever tried banana pudding flavored nuts? How about ranch peanuts? No? Well, there’s a first time for everything, so why not make your first time happen with Dee’s Nuts? You’ll remember it forever.
2. “You Suck” Mints Say What We’re All Thinking About 2020
Remember that rude bunny that was everywhere in 2003? The one who said horrible things with a big smile on its sarcastic face? The bunny’s back.
“Would you like to suck on a mint?” asks the bunny. “Because you already suck all the time.” You may not want to offer one of these mints to your friends, unless of course you have that kind of relationship, but you know what? These mints are saying what we’re all thinking about this year. It hasn’t stopped sucking, but maybe a mint would make things more enjoyable, or at least distract you for a few minutes.
3. The Tube Of Terror Challenge Can’t Be Any Worse Than This Entire Year
Stuck in quarantine and need to feel something? Well, then grab the Tube of Terror Challenge and see what happens.
These are the kinds of snacks that you’d normally eat with friends. At parties. But we can’t have parties anymore because of the general state of the universe right now. So in the meantime, try the Tube of Terror for yourself. Or if you’re quarantined with a roommate or family members, then try it with them.
If you’ve hesitated to try the Tube of Terror Challenge until this point, you might as well give it a try now. At the very least, it can’t be any worse than this year in general.
4. Wake The F Up Coffee
Can we put coffee in the same category as snacks? Does it count? Eh, who cares. We’re doing it. It’s 2020, and sometimes cereal counts as dinner, which means sure, coffee can count as a snack.
Anyway, let’s face it: Sometimes, you need a little extra help to Wake the F Up in the morning. And sometimes, you need a coffee that doesn’t pull any punches.
This one cuts right to the chase. And it does exactly what it says it does: It helps you Wake the F Up. Because sometimes, when your home is also your office, it can be tough to summon the energy to work on those spreadsheets. Maybe some strong coffee can help.
5. Kick In The Hazel Nuts Coffee Pods
Since we’re already including coffee on our list of snacks, let’s keep it going with Kick in the Hazel Nuts coffee pods. If you use coffee pods instead of drip coffee, and if you need a kick in the hazel nuts to get moving, then this is the coffee for you.
6. Nuts For When You’re Feeling Crabby
Hey, are you crabby? Well, so are these nuts. They’ll keep you company and help fulfill all of your savory snacking needs. Crabby nuts are delicious Virginia peanuts coated in seafood seasoning. Since you can’t travel to Cape Cod, you might as well bring Cape Cod to you. Or maybe you just want some delicious peanuts. Either way, Crabby Nuts have you covered.
7. Let’s All Party With Dirty White Trash
Want to party with some Dirty White Trash? Or maybe some regular White Trash? Okay, you shouldn’t literally party, because that’s a very bad idea right now. However, you can totally have a party of one, or a party of however many people are stuck in the house with you right now.
In any case, Dirty White Trash should be invited. This snack combines light, crispy cereal with pretzels and pecans. Then, the mixture is coated with a white chocolate confection. And that’s just the regular White Trash. The Dirty White Trash also has a delicious drizzle of milk chocolate on top.
8. Just The Hottest F’n Nuts
Want to go really nuts with your snacks? Then pick up a bag of the Hottest F’n Nuts. We dare you. Although, for responsibility’s sake, we should probably warn you that these are really, really f’n hot nuts. You know, just in case the name didn’t give it away. What’s in the bag? Just some nuts, Cajun seasoning, paprika, and cayenne pepper. Lots and lots of cayenne pepper. Most people can only handle a few of these nuts at a time.
At Least Your Snacks are Good
Nobody likes this year. Every month since March has felt about seven years long. None of us have had the best year, but if everything else has to be terrible, at least your snacks can be good.
At Try My Nuts, we appreciate some good humor, snark, and sarcasm. On a more serious note, we appreciate all of our customers for letting us do what we do. We pack all of our snacks while paying the closest attention to safety and sanitary conditions.
Need some more snacks in your life? Then we’ve got you covered at Try My Nuts. Scroll through our products to see what you like, and if you have any questions, let us know. We’ll meet you on the other side when the world is a little less of a mess. In the meantime, head to our website to Try My Nuts.