Mirror mirror on the wall
Who’s the
Nuttiest of them all?
Not to boast or anything, but have you tried My Nuts? No? Let’s look at the evidence.
Do you look out the window to see the neighbors headed your way and yell, “Quick, hurry - hide the nuts”?
Do you secretly salivate to discover uneaten nuts at the wedding? Perhaps you should have worn deeper pockets. Let’s hope they don’t think it’s you when you hear the announcement “Warning! Person headed toward restroom with stolen nuts.”
Are you tempted to do a nose dive into the bowl? Do you teeter-totter back and forth, edging ever so close to the nuts, only to find you’ve taken the plunge?
Do you brag about your diet while secretly salivating at the sight of the chocolate-covered peanuts?
Do you watch your guests chomping away at the dwindling supply while secretly wishing they would drop dead?
Then you, friend, might just be a nutcase.
Now, there’s nothing wrong with being a nutcase. Or eating a nut case, or a case of nuts, whichever comes first. But let’s be honest here - not all nuts are created equal.
We’re not talking about those regular inferior things you can get at any drugstore in America, oh no. Those are the nuts you pour into a bowl when the family knocks on the door needing hospitality.
Hopefully, they won’t remember the Try My Nuts nuts you served last Thanksgiving - and do you have any left? No, sorry, Uncle Fred, those were all gone the next day. Liar, liar, pants on fire! How dumb do you think Fred is? So that’s why you’ve got peanut breath when you answer the door, because you - yes, you - ate the very last gourmet nut, thank you very much.
We’re talking about the fancy-schmancy, la-di-dah gold nugget, slightly salted, can’t-eat-just-one crunch. The nuts that are reserved for the pastor, because, bless your soul, you serve these babies and your wings will be showing. We’re talking about Try My Nuts, and not to say we told you so, but we told you so - you should have ordered an extra bag.
Not that you’re a nut snob. Far from it. You’ll open your mouth and shovel in handfuls with the best of them. But let’s be honest: some things are just too good to be true.
So what is it you’ve got to try about Try My Nuts? For starters, our Gourmet Mixed Nuts have a little bit of something for everyone. But don’t take our word for it - let the nuts speak for themselves.
Extra Fancy Cashews
We, the fancy cashews, do hereby declare that we are smooth. Not as high in fat as peanuts, we strut our stuff in a rich roast, daring anyone to steal us away. Be warned, if you look in the bowl and find we are gone, it won’t be the first time someone has taken off with every last one of us, leaving the rest of the nuts to fend for themselves.
Nonpareil Almonds
We are blanched, which means we go without our peelings, making us so much sweeter and ever so much more appealing. There’s just something high-end about nonpareils, and this makes us gourmet all the way.
Jr. Mammoth Pecans
We are husky with a buttery fragrance and highly addictive. We pack a wallop of flavor in our meaty, munchy snacking perfection. We don’t have to have salt, but we do, and that brings out our natural flavor.
Brazil Nuts
We come from the Lecythidaceae family. If you can pronounce that, you might be a nut yourself. Even so, we complement the other nuts, so we are worth repeating. One bite, then another, and on to the next.
Shelled Pistachios
High in protein, we pistachios are not only yummy, but we are also easy on the eyes and good snacks for dieting. We boast thin little skins and are toothsome, smooth, and everything we are cracked up to be. Sometimes we appear in public without our salt, but not in this case. We enjoy our seasoned nuttiness and you will, too.
Put us all together and we are Gourmet Mixed Nuts. We could go it alone and we often do, but we find that together we are so much better!
We come in a variety of sizes, but since only the best will do for your best guests, you’ll want the largest size. Whether they steal away with any of the nuts - your guess is as good as ours.
Whether plain or fancy, the world loves a good nut. So the question remains: are you nuts? Well, probably not, but we are. We’re a mixed bag. In fact, we don't know too many people who don't like nuts.
Of course, this is but a sampling of the yummy goodness that you’ll find at Try My Nuts. You might be wondering, what’s so different about our nuts? And with good reason. After all, the world is full of nuts.
Well, yes and no.
It’s true, you can find nuts at a host of venues. For the most part, the nuts are good. But what about those that are not so good? Most stores are stocked by vendors. Let’s say you walk up to the counter, fork over your hard-earned cash, head out to the car, pop ‘em in your mouth, and ugh. Stale. Not a crispy critter in the bunch.
You should’ve kept that receipt because you probably could have gotten your money back. But no. You tossed the receipt into the garbage bin on your way out to the car. Trusting, aren’t we? Most of us don’t keep those kinds of proof of purchase, so where does this leave you? Without your nuts.
Because we are a family-owned business, we value our customers and make ourselves available. If you reach out to us, you can probably get your money back or we will replace the product. Bottom line - we don’t hide behind our vendors; we stand behind our nuts.
Give us a call today. Treat yourself or someone special to a perfect blend of our freshly roasted gourmet mixed nuts today.